It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
