our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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