What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
