STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
