I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
