we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
