I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
