im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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