You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
