I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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