You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
