wakey wakey hands off snakey
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think I sprained my soul last night
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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