How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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