can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
