i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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