You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
