her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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