Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
