a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
