I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
