Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
im holly from the hills drunk
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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