Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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