Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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