Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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