I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
