wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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