is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
