I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
