omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize