i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize