She is in my trunk
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
