Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
