I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
