sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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