I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
