just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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