I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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