He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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