I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
