Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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