Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
as a side note pls kill me
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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