That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
i think im in europe. pls send help
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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