Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
