yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
