you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
