we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
