If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Randomize
