My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
