What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize