what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dignity is for republicans.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
