I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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