Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
