just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
