Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
