blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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