it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
