just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
