ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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