I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
