so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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