The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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